Is it possible to press the "pause" button on life?
I have an existence that I rather enjoy. I caught myself thinking crazy thoughts the other day about my life being "pretty." I'm about to go to school to obtain a master’s degree that will allow me to form my counseling practice and start saving the world as we know it! I have an extensive network of acquaintances and a sacred circle of close friends, for whom I'd do anything. I have a great family and a niece or nephew on the way, whom I am sure will enrich all of our lives. I spend many days immersed in literature, love, friends and soon, studies.
A phone call this morning changed it all.
A man named Alex called me with a job offer, which, in this economy, is cause enough for celebration. The job, however, is teaching English...in China. I've often joked that my English degree is the most expensive piece of toilet paper that I ever could have purchased; now, however, it is by sheer virtue of having said English degree that I have been granted this amazing opportunity. I can teach one of the things that I know and love best--language, my native language--to an entirely different culture. The thought of it makes my heart race with excitement! It's terrifying, this thought of going to a foreign country, a strange (to me) land where I can't even understand the alphabet...yet, I want it SO badly. I want the adventure; I need to see what I'm really made of. I've traveled to Europe alone and I thought that was gutsy...this makes solo European travel look like an afternoon at the Children's Museum.
So, that's my dilemma. I have such a strong foundation at home. I'm on my way to being happy. I'm about to begin a career in which I can actually do good works for others. I love having coffee dates with my friends and blogging for the Symphony. I love laughing hysterically about "Spongebob" at Crazy Mocha with Laura, or having cupcake adventures with Kat and Danae. I love Pittsburgh. Each time I've gone to Europe, love it though I did, I was always thrilled to come home. And yet, there's a restlessness in me that needs to be dealt with, or I will never be fulfilled. Living abroad for a year, challenging my paradigms and confronting myself might be the remedy for this travel bug that refuses to grant me peace. I cannot bear the thought of the inevitable regret that would pervade my life if I passed up this chance. This is the time; I'm completely obligation-free. I don't have any children, no LOML (Love of My Life--one who hurts me so often and so relentlessly does not a paramour make and is not my true love...keep searching!). If I'm going to do it, the time is now. I know that I won't be able to pick up where I've left off here, and that my friends will keep changing, with or without me. If I leave and hate my new life, I'll be stuck in China for a year, away from the people who matter most.
What should I do?
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